im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
