Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize