Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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