she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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