there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
