she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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