I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
