i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
