You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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