Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
