Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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