i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
