What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
