Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
