Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
