is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
