exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
