I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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