...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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