he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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