Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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