her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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