I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We have started to decorate penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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