dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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