I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
