My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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