I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
