why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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