Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
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Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A+ Viking dick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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