I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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