Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
