You're so nebulous sometimes
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
