McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
