Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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