Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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