You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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