i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
