For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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