youre lurking in front of me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
