Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
