after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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