When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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