i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
