If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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