There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
