Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
