Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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