I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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