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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I think we need to teach you what straight means again

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• (210): View more from Texas

  We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?

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