god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.