Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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(517): View more from Michigan

last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??

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(614): View more from Ohio

Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

God wants them to get laid too.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(616): View more from Michigan

the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye

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(229): View more from Georgia

No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.

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(616): View more from Michigan

On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently

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(519): View more from Ontario

my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.

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