Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1601) Bad night (597)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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  (702): The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before http://tfl.nu/ogqr
  Replies (5) Good night (2823) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!

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  (815): You left a skid on my bar stool!!!! (847): Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool! http://tfl.nu/5bzd
  Replies (24) Good night (1155) Bad night (5231)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.

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  (703): She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all. http://tfl.nu/qt2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5180) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  "people in the room" being me.

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  (336): the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine. (336): "people in the room" being me. http://tfl.nu/hpsj
  Replies (12) Good night (5739) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.

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  (847): Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines. http://tfl.nu/j7ab
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (2265)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  But you'll make an exception

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  probably not

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  (908): I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls (1-908): But you'll make an exception (908): probably not http://tfl.nu/9drh
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...

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  (250): I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes... http://tfl.nu/uyv6
  Replies (4) Good night (1204) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table

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  (401): Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it. (1-401): Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table http://tfl.nu/unxn
  Replies (5) Good night (1150) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior. 

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  (501): I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.  http://tfl.nu/bx8n
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

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  (512): Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time. http://tfl.nu/pc17
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.

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  (330): Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee. http://tfl.nu/5wrf
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful

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  (773): He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful http://tfl.nu/kcp3
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am

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  (765): i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am http://tfl.nu/zc5y
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me

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  (905): I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me http://tfl.nu/yn4j
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (153)

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