so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming