youre lurking in front of me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
