Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
