obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i out mim tonsoeep
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
