Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
