I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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