): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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