Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
