her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
