Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
