You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
