Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
