Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
