with your own penis?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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