come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
