shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
