and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
