The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
