You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
