I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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