Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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