THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
