guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
