New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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